An Ocean
by ShadowSwan
Summary: Patricia was drowning in Eddie's world. Eddie was drowning in his own thoughts. It took a night for her to leave him, but it's taken five years for her to get over him. Now Patricia thinks she might be ready to cross the ocean and ask him the questions she should have done a long time ago. Trouble is, she might not want the answers, or to deal with their consequences. Full-length.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, places etc. related to House of Anubis._

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Prologue

August 10th, 2013

"No!"

Patricia flinched. She was in that strange state, dreaming but aware she was doing so. Judging by how tired she felt, she didn't want to be awake yet, but she was going to have to find a way of opening her eyes so she could close them again. A muffled yell from beside her did the trick.

Sitting bolt upright, it took her a second to realise that the agonised noise was probably what had woken her up first time round. And then she shook her head and remembered that it had been three weeks now, three weeks this had been happening, and it shouldn't still be surprising her.

"Hey, hey, shh," Patricia whispered, placing a hand on Eddie's shoulder.

He lay beside her, eyes shut, face contorted with the pain from whatever nightmare he was having this time. He was caught up in their sheets, which went some way to explaining why Patricia was freezing, and his forehead was shining in the ray of moonlight afforded to them by the gap where the curtains hadn't quite met, the sweat creeping into the edges of his hair.

"Eddie, wake up, please," Patricia begged, shaking him this time.

This was happening too often. She hadn't had a good night's sleep since they'd arrived out here, and she'd been having a hard enough time adjusting as it was.

"What?" he gasped, jerking awake and looking around, eyes wide and wild.

"Hey, hey, you're okay, it was just... just go back to sleep," Patricia yawned, the adrenaline from having been startled awake wearing off quickly.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, realising what had happened anyway.

"It's fine," Patricia reassured him, already burrowing back down into the pillow.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. Just let me get back to sleep. I'm fine."

"Okay."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

They lay there, backs to one another, eyes staring into the darkness of the room, a half-metre gap between them. Nothing was fine.

\/\O~O/\/

When Patricia woke up again the next morning, properly this time, it was to an empty bed. Sun was pouring into the room from behind the curtains, and she frowned. She wanted sleep, not sunshine. A note propped up on the pillow caught her attention, and she groaned before she'd even read it.

_You looked like you were finally getting some sleep. I wasn't about to disturb you again. I've gone out, to look around. I'll be probably be back after lunch. Mom's at work, so the house is all yours._

_Love you xxx_

She scrunched the note up in her fist and threw it at the wall with a satisfying yell. It fell short and dropped to the carpet, but it had felt good.

She didn't want to stay at home all day by herself. Patricia wanted to be out with Eddie, riding shotgun in the godawful pick-up truck he'd insisted on buying as soon as they'd arrived out here. Staying at home, his mother's home no less, was unappealing.

When she was alone, she got scared. Scared because she didn't know what she was doing. Scared because she didn't know where she was going. Scared because as soon as they'd moved out here, her boyfriend had turned into a completely different person.

Upon leaving school, they'd each known only one thing - Patricia was absolutely not going to university yet, and Eddie was ready to go back to the US. It had briefly seemed like their blissful little world was going to end, until Eddie had suggested Patricia go with him. Nothing was tying her to the UK, because she hadn't made any plans for once school ended. The only thing she was tied to was Eddie.

She wasn't sure what she'd been hoping to achieve with this gap year. Find a job maybe, earn some money. Figure out whether she wanted to go to university at all, and if she did, what course. She just wasn't sure. But Eddie was sure, he was sure of America, and she was sure of him, so this was where they were.

Of course, two teenagers trying to start life together in America was never going to be easy. They'd had a delay as Patricia tried to sort out all the paperwork involved with moving to the US. She eventually ended up with a six month work permit, which she figured was plenty of time to decide whether she liked living here or not. A permit was all well and good however, but neither Patricia nor Eddie actually had a job, or any opportunities for one. So here they were, staying at his old family home, with his mum. Mom. Whatever. Patricia figured she'd get used to this American malarkey before long.

She didn't much like the living arrangement though. Not that Eddie's mom wasn't being lovely by letting them stay free of charge, and always making them feel welcome, but Patricia was finding it so intense. She'd been dating Eddie for two years now and had never met her in that time, and then suddenly they were living together.

In all honesty, it felt like her and Eddie were married, which was the most terrifying thought. They were nineteen, with their whole lives ahead of them. Settling down wasn't Patricia's priority. Not that she wasn't sure that Eddie wasn't the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. It just seemed very sudden.

Thankfully Eddie felt the same, although it was probably more to do with the fact that he'd had two years of independence - moving back home now was like crawling back with his tail between his legs. Not that it was like that, at all, but Patricia knew he felt like it sometimes. So every day Eddie drove around looking for jobs in the surrounding area, anything that would help them get on their feet. Then they could go for the real jobs, the ones that fulfilled life.

Patricia was meant to accompany Eddie on these drives, but in the last three weeks, she'd been with him four times. It was starting to annoy her. Eddie knew she wanted to go, but he always had the same excuse - she looked like she needed the sleep.

This was their other issue. Sleep, or Patricia's lack of it.

Since they'd arrived, Eddie hadn't gone a whole night without having a nightmare. Some nights were worse than others - sometimes he just yelled out and woke himself up, then fell straight back to sleep. Other nights he'd move around, fighting something imaginary. The worst had been when Patricia had tried to wake him and he'd been unable to distinguish his dreams from reality for a split second. For that moment, Patricia had been an attack like the one in his dreams, and he'd gone to defend himself.

That had been scary. For both of them.

He hadn't stopped apologising, but she told him it didn't matter. It was fine.

Things had changed though. At first it was the nightmares, and then it'd been daydreams. Patricia would nudge him and he would recoil, body tensed. That put a stop to any pranks she had planned.

The bit that got to her the most was that he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. She had her suspicions, but he refused to confirm or deny anything. Didn't want to drag her into his problems he'd said. She'd pointed out that seeing as they were dating, now living together, his problems were hers too. He'd shut her down though, time and time again. Patricia wanted to scream at him. She wanted to help, but she couldn't if she didn't know what she was meant to be doing.

Everything had just changed, with neither of them noticing.

Eddie was constantly on edge, Patricia was constantly tired and irritable, and they weren't really functioning together as a couple.

That was the scariest thought of all.

\/\O~O/\/

Patricia was mindlessly making a sandwich when Eddie strolled into the kitchen. She loved the kitchen. It was newly re-decorated, with neutral beige tiles, and a lovely granite worktop, and wooden floors. It was peaceful and homely, and for the first time ever, Patricia found herself wanting to potter around and make food. The worst part of the house was Eddie's room, or more accurately, fifteen year old Eddie's room. Shades of blue, black and grey everywhere, posters of bands long gone by, that distinctive boy smell that she'd never noticed while he was sharing a room with an overly-clean Fabian.

She wanted to do something about it, but she couldn't, because it was Eddie's. Everything was Eddie's. The house, the country, this life. She felt like she was drowning in it. She was nineteen. Her life wasn't meant to be consumed by one boy, and she definitely wasn't meant to feel like a tiny jigsaw piece in his life that didn't quite fit.

Eddie wandered in, and she rolled her eyes. The back door was wide open, letting in the still blazing sunshine, and Eddie was whistling. This scene was too happy for her current mood. She didn't turn to greet him, wanting him to know that she was extremely annoyed with him.

"I have exciting news," he said, wandering up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, oblivious to her feelings.

She shrugged out of his arms, going over to the fridge wordlessly.

"This is the part where you ask me what my exciting news is," Eddie prompted.

"I'd already know what it was if you'd taken me with you," said Patricia airily, pouring out a glass of juice for herself.

"What?" Eddie asked, his voice falling flat.

Patricia finally turned to look at him. His face was a little incredulous, his shoulders slumped.

"We agreed that we'd go job-hunting together," Patricia reminded him. "But you always leave without me. It isn't fair."

"I didn't think it'd be fair to wake you up again," Eddie said slowly.

"I want you to wake me up!" Patricia cried, going back to her lunch. "I want to come with you. I'm bored of sitting here every morning by myself."

"Aren't you tired? I know I keep... well, you know-"

"Of course I'm tired Eddie," Patricia snapped. "But I'm also capable of sucking it up when I need to."

"Okay, fine," Eddie said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't wake you. I'll get you up next time."

"Thanks," Patricia mumbled, taking her food into the next room and deliberately sitting in the chair, leaving Eddie alone on the couch.

"So, you want to hear my exciting news?" he asked, sounding nowhere near as enthusiastic as he had earlier.

"I suppose," she said, focusing on her sandwich.

"I think I found a job," he grinned. "I mean, it's yours if you want it, but it's an hour's drive away to a pig farm-"

"Definitely not," Patricia interrupted, making a disgusted noise. "That is all yours."

"As I suspected," Eddie laughed, smiling at her hesitantly.

She smiled back. She still loved him after all.

"When do you start?" she asked.

"Couple days. No idea if I'll like it, but it's a start right?"

"It is," she said happily. "Well done. I'm proud of you. But don't expect me to kiss you when you've spent a day with muddy pigs."

Eddie laughed and started snorting like a pig, leaping off the couch and pouncing on her.

"Go away," she cried, trying to push him away, but he resisted her efforts, leaning closer. "Go away!"

"Gonna have to let me kiss you now if I'm not allowed to in a few days."

"No!" Patricia squealed, cringing away from his oinking.

"Fair's fair," he teased.

"Okay, fine, fine," she relented, giving in. "Just stop that awful noise."

"Deal," he grinned, leaning in.

Soon enough Patricia's lunch had been moved to a table and abandoned, and the cushions balancing on the edge of the chair had fallen to the floor. Winking at her, Eddie pulled her away from the chair and started leading her back to his room. She happily followed him.

So maybe staying in Eddie's room wasn't all bad.

\/\O~O/\/

"Don't do this again Eddie!"

"Do what?"

"Shut me out! Talk to me, please!"

"I don't want to inflict this on you!"

"Newsflash! You already have!"

Eddie was stood by the window, resolutely looking at the night sky. Patricia was still in bed, half asleep but furious. A poor combination. Eddie had woken up again, this time yelling her name. They'd had such a perfect afternoon, watching a movie together, Patricia cooking dinner for Eddie and his mom.

And now here they were. Yelling at one another again. Like they always did at the moment. Like they would continue to do until one of them relented.

"Patricia, I'm trying to protect you!" Eddie yelled, rounding on her.

"Oh cut the melodrama Eddie, just tell me what's wrong!" Patricia snarled.

"It doesn't matter!"

He glared at her and she glared right back. The darkness of Eddie's room was swallowing her up, but she refused to give in to this. She couldn't carry on reassuring Eddie that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

"No, Eddie, it does matter! I'm here by myself! All I have is you, but you're broken! Okay? You have friends here, family, hell you even have a job now. I left my friends and my family behind to follow you here, because I love you, but right now I feel like I don't even know you!"

"What, friends that don't bother to contact you, and a family that prefers your twin?" Eddie said venomously.

That hurt. Patricia blinked at him, silenced, wondering where that had come from. He looked away again, jaw set.

The bedroom door creaked open, and Eddie's mom peered in, wrapped up in her dressing gown.

"Is everything okay? Should I be worried?" she asked sleepily.

She glanced around, noting her son's defensive silhouette in the window, and Patricia's now tear-streaked cheeks. Patricia looked away, embarrassed at having woken up her host, and Eddie just shook his head dismissively. Knowing when to leave it, she closed the door again and headed back to bed. Oh to be young and in love again, she thought, smiling. They'd have it worked out by the morning.

They'd looked content enough earlier when Patricia had fallen asleep on top of Eddie. She was such a sweet girl. The way Eddie had described her, she'd been expecting the sort of moody goth girl stereotype found in chick flicks set at high school nowadays. Instead, a sweet, pretty girl had arrived on her doorstep, trying to contain the inner sassiness she was sure she'd soon find, in a desperate attempt to make a good impression.

No they'd work things out. The yelling had stopped now. It'd be fine.

If she was lucky, Patricia would make those pancakes she'd become a fan of whipping up every morning.

\/\O~O/\/

There were no pancakes the next morning.

Eddie was the one to wake up to an empty bed and a note that day.

_Eddie,_

_This isn't working right now. I don't even know who you are. I want you to open up to me, but you won't, and I don't know how to help you when you can't see you need some help. I know what you said last night wasn't really you talking, but it came from somewhere, and I don't like that place._

_I'm trying to tell myself that this hasn't been a mistake, but I have a feeling it might have been. I'm going home Eddie. _

_I still love you, but this is goodbye._

_x_

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_A/N (Revised): Yo, if you read nothing else, read this. I'm changing this story around ever so ever so slightly. So note the dates at the top of each chapter. Because we'll be going back and forth in time. Wild, I know. That is all.  
__A/N: New story! This will be full-length, no less! Just a few things about this story - firstly, hope you like it! Secondly, Patricia isn't meant to sound whiny so hopefully she doesn't, yes Eddie sounds like a bit of a... well, ya know, but he'll work it out. You'll start to learn more soon. Your questions will all be answered eventually. This was brief but it was a prologue - other chapters will be longer and give more detail. Thirdly, I'm not guaranteeing this will end with Peddie. I've broken them up before, and I may do again. Then again, I may not. Guess you'll have to keep reading! Finally, not sure how dark this'll get. Probably not too bad, but a little more intense than my other works I imagine. Thanks guys! :)_

_P.S. - I like beta-reading. I have no stories to beta-read right now. So... just holla._


	2. Americano

_A/N: Sorry, I hate to leave ANs at the start of a chapter, but please just note the slight change of format - dates at the beginning of each chapter._

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1. Americano

April 2nd, 2018

"I need coffee, someone bring me coffee," Patricia groaned, slumped over the huge oak table of the boardroom.

She wasn't sure exactly who she was addressing. The only other person in the room was her ever-faithful assistant, Lily. Bless her, the poor girl didn't get paid nearly half enough to put up with having to answer to Patricia. She was probably dreaming of the day she got promoted and some other intern got saddled with the job.

"Latte?" Lily asked timidly.

"Jesus, no, I need something stronger than that. If I didn't have a presentation to give in five minutes, I'd be demanding whiskey."

"So... what do you want?"

"I don't know," Patricia sighed. "An Americano?"

"One American coffee, coming right up," Lily said, pleased that Patricia had reached a decision.

The door closed quietly behind her, and then Patricia was alone. In a few moments, this room would fill with official looking people, the heads of the magazine she worked for, and she had to try and impress them. Right now, Patricia was feeling anything but impressive.

This meeting, would, of course, have been scheduled for the day she was due to fly over to America for three months. She'd tried in vain to get it rescheduled, but she'd effectively been told it was now or never, and she couldn't bear the idea of losing out on this deal.

In a bid to try and freshen up the magazine, the editorial team had decided a complete overhaul was in order. They were giving every senior journalist on the team the chance to put together a brand new image, accompanied by a presentation, and the most promising would win a promotion and watch as their ideas were brought to life.

Patricia wanted this more than she'd ever wanted anything. She couldn't bear to see anyone else take this job away from her. Since she'd started working here two years ago, she'd worked her way up from a lowly intern before she'd finished university, to a graduate scheme, to where she was today. One of the most respected members of the team, with her own office and her own assistant to boot.

It wasn't enough though. Not yet.

If she pulled this off though, she'd almost be there. Between landing the US deal and winning a spot next to the editors, she'd be laughing.

This morning though, laughing was not on her agenda. It was eight in the morning, and she hadn't gotten to bed until three because she'd been packing all night. Every time she settled into bed, she'd remembered something else and had to hunt it down to pop it on top of the suitcase. Adam had been going crazy, in the end refusing to let her get back out of bed and pinning her to him.

Not that she'd really minded that part.

Patricia glanced down at the ring on her finger, smiling to herself.

This was enough. This would always be enough.

This ring reminded her that there were more important things than coffee, and business meetings, and her career. It reminded her that someone loved her, loved her enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her, and that would never fail to make her smile.

"Americano," Lily said, in her soft, gentle tone, placing the cardboard cup down next to Patricia. Patricia didn't know how she always found hot drinks so quickly, but she was forever grateful.

"Thank you," Patricia sighed happily, taking one sip and feeling more ready to take on the world.

"Just to warn you, I saw a few of the team heading up the corridor."

"Oh, Christ," Patricia groaned, standing up and trying to smooth down her dress. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Good luck!" Lily smiled, before giving her a wave and leaving the room again, as the first few members of the editing team entered.

Patricia gave her a grateful smile before turning to the people slowly taking their seats before her. Playing with her hair nervously, Patricia turned back to the flipchart she had stood next to her, with all of the various picture boards lined up neatly to be displayed. Everything was in order. She was going to be fine.

"You look stunning," Adam had told her this morning, as she'd kissed him goodbye. "You'll knock 'em dead."

Though as her fiancé he was obliged to say so, it had still given Patricia the confidence boost she'd needed. She hadn't been this nervous for her America pitch, nowhere near as nervous, and she'd aced that. She had no idea why her heart was thumping so loudly now.

As the chairs in the boardroom quickly filled up, Patricia took one last gulp of her coffee and turned to face them all, plastering a smile on her face and hoping she didn't look too manic.

"Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming to this presentation today."

\/\O~O/\/

"I'm going to be late!"

Patricia was trying to tie her glossy red hair up into a fairly neat ponytail, proving difficult as she'd curled it this morning and it was really just far too long at the moment, while instructing Adam which emergency items needed adding to the suitcase.

"Breathe," Adam reminded her, walking over to her and putting his hands on the tops of her arms. "You're going to be fine. It's only eleven, and your flight doesn't take off until six this evening. You don't need to leave here until what, two at the very earliest? So, just breathe."

Patricia took a deep breath to appease him, and he smiled. That smile. She'd do anything for that smile.

"Thank you," she said finally, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

"Now, what still needs doing?" he said calmly.

Adam was always her calm. It didn't matter what whirlwind she found herself in, Patricia could always rely on him to just be there, whenever she needed him. Whenever she needed to yell, whenever she needed to cry, whenever she just needed someone to talk to, he was there. Arms open, waiting.

She wasn't sure how lasting three months without him was going to go, but she'd have to try.

"I need to just check everything," Patricia sighed. "How do I look? Do I look smart enough to be on business? I wanted to change my dress, because it's an eleven hour flight or something, and that other dress is so uncomfortable-"

"You look fine," Adam said, rolling his eyes at her. "Trix, they're not going to care how you look. You'll have just gotten off a flight, and you're going to be tired and jetlagged. Just accept that you're not going to look perfect."

"I hate that the flight is so late," Patricia grumbled, heading into their bathroom to check she had all of her toiletries, and most importantly, her toothbrush.

"But if it was any earlier, you would have missed your thing this morning."

"This is true," Patricia said, wandering back into the bedroom where Adam had picked up her list and started ticking things off as he rifled back through her suitcase.

"How did it go by the way? You were a bit manic when you got in earlier," he laughed.

"I have no idea," Patricia sighed, flopping onto their bed. She was going to miss this bed. It was so comfortable. "I don't think I particularly messed up, but you know what they're like. No one shows any emotion. So I don't know if they loved it, or if they hated it. Getting this thing was so much easier, the panel wasn't made up of robots."

"Listen, your pitch was great," Adam said, lying next to her. "I listened to it at least a hundred times-"

Patricia glared at him.

"-and I really liked it. And even though I'm a musician, and I don't have a clue what I'm talking about when it comes to magazines, I think you did the best you could. So if they don't like it, it's their problem."

"Thank you," Patricia said, turning her head to smile at him. "What am I going to do without your little pep talks every day?"

"You've heard of this thing called a phone right?"

"Shut up, you know it won't be the same," laughed Patricia, rolling over so she was flat on her stomach next to him.

"I know," he said, running a finger down her cheek. "I'm going to miss you. So much."

"I want to hear all of the angsty songs you write in my absence," she teased.

"So many songs to write," he laughed, pulling her towards him and making her squeal in surprise. "But first, can we make the most of the time we have left?"

\/\O~O/\/

Patricia glanced out of the little plane window, trying to see the blue of the Atlantic beneath the rolling clouds they were soaring through. She loved plane journeys. So many people she knew hated them, preferring to be safely on land, but she couldn't understand them. Here, floating above and amongst the fluffy masses, watching the sun set and burn the sky red and pink and orange, she felt like she was in the most breathtaking of fantasy lands.

For the hundredth time, Patricia checked her phone, despite the fact it was on airplane mode and she knew nothing would have happened.

Leaving Adam behind had been harder than she'd ever expected. He'd been so sweet though. When she'd completely freaked out in the taxi on the way to the airport, he'd reminded her of why she was doing this, and that three months really wasn't all that long. It would fly by, especially when she was going to be busy all day every day, in one of the most exciting cities in the world. When the tears had threatened at the departures gate, he'd told her off. He hadn't watched her spend fifteen minutes applying this much make-up to her eyes for her to cry it all away. That had made her laugh, and she'd looked up at him gratefully.

"I love you," she reminded him, as she turned to check her suitcase in.

"I love you too," he'd smiled. "Stay safe."

She'd taken one last look at him, drinking in his black skinny jeans and his grey band tshirt, the brown hair swept to one side and the stubble he worked so hard to maintain around his strong jaw. She was going to miss waking up to that every morning.

Everything after that had been a bit of a blur, as Patricia's nerves began to set in, until she'd suddenly found herself sat in the business class section of the enormous plane. She needed to make a good impression on this trip; she was spending three months researching for her current magazine, but she was well aware of the opportunities it could bring her. Moving out to the US wasn't exactly something her and Adam had their hearts set on, but if a good enough job opportunity came along, she knew he'd come with her.

Patricia felt her eyes closing, and tried to resist. It was the early hours of the morning in the UK, and she'd had so little sleep the morning before, but when she arrived in Los Angeles, it was only going to be around ten at night. If she could last until then, she could start trying to adjust to the jetlag as soon as possible.

Los Angeles.

She couldn't believe she was finally headed there. She'd been to the USA before, but only ever to New York a few times, and Florida once with her family. She'd never visited the City of Angels, and she was excited.

Yawning, Patricia decided to stretch her legs to try to keep herself awake. Grabbing her make-up bag from her hand luggage, she made her way to the toilets. She was pleased to find that her make-up was still lasting, just a top up of her standard heavy eyeliner and lipstick needed. Patricia surveyed her appearance. Her hair was still tied up in a ponytail, but they were just going to have to accept that. It didn't look too bad, messy enough to stay stylish but allow for any ruffling that had occurred on the plane.

While she wished she were wearing some comfy sweatpants and a hoodie, her floaty black dress and blazer combination wasn't proving too bad. Twisting around, Patricia was relieved to see that the back wasn't getting too creased. She knew she was being ridiculous - no one was expecting her to look perfect after such a long flight, and all she was doing tonight was moving into her hotel room, but she'd only feel comfortable if her appearance was intact.

Heading back to her seat, Patricia pulled out her laptop and nervously opened her emails yet again. There was only one sat in her inbox, one she was saving. It was a reply from a Mr Fabian Rutter, and she'd read the conversation between them so many times she'd memorised it.

_Are you sure this is a good idea?_

That had been the message he'd tacked onto the end of his initial reply, the one giving Patricia an address she was curious about. She'd been surprised to find that Fabian could actually help her out, mostly expecting him to politely tell her he didn't have the information she needed. After all, they hadn't spoken since they'd left school. Even if he did have what she wanted, he wasn't under any obligation to give it to her.

But he had, because that was the person Fabian was, and he had never changed.

_I haven't got a clue. Probably not. Thank you though. _

Her reply hadn't instilled confidence in either of them.

_Well, good luck. And say hi to Eddie from me._

Eddie Miller.

The boy she hadn't spoken to since she'd left him and his house in the dead of night when they were a pair of silly eighteen year-olds.

She wasn't sure why she wanted his address. She wasn't even sure if she was going to actually find him yet. But she'd heard a few years ago that he'd moved to LA, and when she'd been offered the job, it had stirred something in her. Patricia had a strange desire to see him again, to clear up what had happened, to set things straight.

There was no real reason for her to do this - he'd been her first love, that was all. They'd hardly been serious. Everyone had a high-school love interest. But the fact that this might be the only chance she'd ever have at seeing him again was drawing her to him.

Adam didn't know. Patricia had felt it was best if she didn't tell him. He didn't need to worry, because the ring on Patricia's left hand was a clear reminder of who her heart belonged to, but she knew he'd start having doubts. She didn't want to be out here for three months with both of them worrying about what was going on with the other. No, it was best that Adam didn't know. Patricia kept very few secrets from her fiancé, but this would be one of them.

The seatbelt noise pinged suddenly, making her jump.

She looked out of the window and saw that there was land beneath them. This was it. Sliding her laptop back into its case, Patricia buckled up and took a deep breath. Her American adventure was about to begin.

\/\O~O/\/

The hotel she was living in for the next few months was gorgeous. She couldn't quite believe that she was staying in a hotel for three months. Her room had the biggest bed she'd ever seen, accompanied by a bathroom that was larger than her living room back home. The suite was fully equipped with a kitchen, a dining table and chairs, and more sofas than she would ever need. A black and gold theme ran throughout, and Patricia immediately decided that this colour scheme needed to be introduced somewhere in her London house.

None of this compared to the views though. The entire living and dining area was floor to ceiling glass, giving her an unparalleled view of the city skyline, and there was a small balcony if she wanted to venture outside. From what she'd read before she arrived out here, the hotel also boasted several swimming pools, a spa, an award-winning restaurant, and much more, all available for her to use whenever she wanted.

Patricia felt like she might be dreaming.

Right now though, at eleven o'clock at night LA time, Patricia Williamson was not in her room. Her exhausted body was pleading with her to curl up in the bed she'd just marvelled at, or at least relax in a hot bath. Instead, she'd taken one look around her new home and almost immediately left the hotel again.

Now in a cab, Patricia was shaking. She didn't know if it was nerves, or just the fact that she hadn't changed her outfit, and her chiffon dress didn't provide her with much warmth. Either way, she'd made a decision, and she couldn't back out now.

Tomorrow, Patricia had the day off, which she fully intended to spend sleeping and unpacking. The day after, her work schedule began. She had very few full days off in her first month, and she hadn't dared look at her itinerary for the following two months. This only left her with the occasional morning or afternoon to herself, and if her work at home was anything to go by, she could still be called in at any moment.

Tonight was the only time Patricia could afford to go wandering around the city without the threat of someone calling her into work, and there was no way she could wait a fortnight until her weekend off before doing this.

"Here we are," the cab driver said, looking at her expectantly.

"Thanks," Patricia murmured, passing him a few bills which she hoped totalled the right amount.

Stepping out of the cab, Patricia felt fear in the pit of her stomach, especially when the cab drove away. Shaking her head though, she straightened herself out and started marching up the long driveway ahead of her. The anxiety coursing through her did not abate though, especially when she realised that the thumping music she could hear from somewhere in the quiet neighbourhood was coming from the house she was making her way towards.

Finally she reached the front door, a huge wooden affair. Knocking quietly, then more firmly, Patricia took a deep breath. The enormous house and all of its palm trees towered around her, even more imposing in the darkness of the night. She wavered slightly, a sudden wave of tiredness hitting her, but shook herself out of it.

She was here now. She needed to focus, to get this over and done with.

Without warning, the door flew open, scaring the life out of her.

"Hey girl," a man said, grinning at her. He bore a startling resemblance to Alfie, her old schoolmate, and she had to check a few times to be sure it really wasn't him.

"Hi," Patricia said, her nerves coming across in her voice. "I'm really sorry, I think I might have the wrong house."

Now that the door was open, the music was only louder. From what she could see of inside, there were a lot of people dancing and laughing, men and women, and she suddenly felt very unsure of herself. Instinctively her hand felt for her phone amongst her handbag, ready to call another taxi in seconds.

"Well you sure look dressed for a party, a little formal but cute" he said, looking her up and down approvingly. Patricia flashed him her left hand angrily, her nerves disappearing for a second in her annoyance. "Damn. Well, what are you doing here then? You can still come in."

He grinned at her, and she frowned.

"I'm just looking for someone," she explained, raising her voice above the music. "I thought he lived here. Clearly not."

"I don't live here," the man laughed. "Who're you looking for? Ed?"

"Who's Ed?" Patricia muttered. "I'm looking for Eddie. Eddie Miller."

The man looked at her then started laughing uncontrollably. Patricia stared at him, wondering what was so funny, but before she could ask, the man had gone back inside. Not having a clue what to do, Patricia followed him, staying as close to the doorway as possible.

The house was probably beautiful, she thought, as she looked around, if it weren't for the fact it was a complete mess. Now that she was inside, she could hear the loud voices as well as the music, cheering, screaming, laughing. The bassline of the music that was still playing rippled through her. She was spending five more minutes here, tops, then she was gone. No one was paying her much attention - no one would notice.

"Yo, _Eddie_, you didn't tell me you invited any British girls to this thing," Patricia's new friend called through the hallways.

"I don't seem to remember inviting anyone, but here we are again," someone replied dryly, and suddenly Patricia's heart skipped.

"Well she says she's here to see you, so you invited her at some point," the man insisted.

"What?"

Patricia stepped forward and suddenly Eddie was there, standing in front of her. He didn't see her until he'd fully rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, and then he stopped dead. She could see him grow paler even in the darkness. He'd barely changed, but Patricia wasn't really paying attention to his appearance. She was more distracted by his undone shirt and the girl attached to him, her eyes narrowed.

"I'm so sorry," Patricia said, shaking her head and suddenly feeling sick. "I shouldn't have come here."

She turned away and stumbled to the door, shaking harder than ever. This had been a horrible mistake. Standing there in her work outfit, in her prim and proper little black dress and her heels, Patricia suddenly felt stupid, and out of place. She didn't belong in this world, she never had, and she didn't think Eddie did either, but apparently this wasn't the case. Fabian had been right. This had not been wise.

"Patricia!" Eddie called, as she all but fell out of the door, fingers grasping for her phone to call the taxi again. "Patricia, wait!"

She ignored him, carrying on down the driveway, feeling even more unsteady as shock and exhaustion overwhelmed her. His voice was doing all sorts to her heartbeat, but she couldn't stay and figure that out. She needed to get back to her hotel, now.

"Yacker!"

* * *

_A/N: Oh, Eddie. Hello again! Sorry this update has taken so long, I got caught up in other things but I'm totally back on track with this story. Two things - I know nothing about editing a magazine, nor do I know anything about LA. So sorry if anything sounds unrealistic. But in the actual story, these are very minor details, so all good. As you hopefully noticed, I've added dates into each chapter, because I'm going to go back and forward in time! Next chapter, we learn more about Adam. I realise this chapter was quite choppy and bits were quite brief, but I'm purely setting the scene. All action from now on, and you'll learn more about stuff as we carry on. Hope you enjoyed! Follow me on twitter for small previews of next chapter at 'bookemshadow' _:)_ thanks for reading! _


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